I am just going to warn you all, I am going to be writing about my breasts. And for the few men out there who read this (and you know who you are) I swear it is not in a way you want to hear. Ok, you have been warned.
For those of you who know me, or have taken a stroll through the photo gallery, you know that I am not, shall we say, lacking in the boob department. Quite the opposite in fact. Have been since puberty. (Yes, even when I was skinny as a rail, I was stacked.) It’s good fun for the husband, and at times I have really felt blessed for my ample bosom.
Until last night.
Last night I swear I almost cut the damn things off. I was changing out of my gym clothes into pajamas, when pain like no other struck me. I removed my yoga tank with the bra attached and proceeded to pull off my sports bra (yeah, when the girls are MY size, you need two bras– just another fun point). Then my bazookas were left unsupported and felt like they were made of steel. Or iron. Or whatever the heaviest metal is, that is what it felt like. I think I just got used to all the extra-exercise-required-support and that, combined with pre-menstrual tenderness, pushed me over the edge.
I seriously had to hold my ta-ta’s with my arm while I proceeded to undress. My knockers could not go unsupported for longer that five seconds without feeling like the sheer weight of themselves would tear them from my body. I kid you not. Ouch!
Sim was watching the whole thing in agonizing horror, totally powerless to help his whining wife with the pain. I quickly, but carefully, jumped into bed to relieve the burdens of gravity and sighed with relief. So. Not. Fun. But all this does is further support the fact that once I have finished having babies, and my boobs are no longer a means of food production, and the physical damage of breastfeeding has taken it’s toll (which can be quite lovely I have heard), I am totally planning to have my knockers reduced. Don’t think I won’t ask the doc to bring ’em back up to where they used to be. Ya know, while he’s in there.
Ok, I can’t resist commenting, especially now that you’ve spilled your baby beans. Like my mom, (same genes??) I ended up significantly smaller after Nikolai was weaned, I’m sure the same will happen when Gabey quits too. So, while you might have that to look forward to, watch out for the breastfeeding boob monster. I went from a less-than-A to flooding-a-D while nursing both kids. I honestly have more stretch marks on my boobs than on my stomach. Charming!! GGOO LUCK!!!
The worst thing I ever did was pinch them between my own Knees while pregnant in the shower trying to pick up a bar of soap that I dropped! Now, visualize that!
My aunt had a reduction and it was a relatively easy procedure, she looks AWESOME and is SO SO happy with the result. She was a runner when she was younger but due to her boobs she just couldn’t continue running. Once she had her reduction (at the age of 52 – what made her wait so long????) she began running again and started loosing weght. She looks just AWESOME and can now wear cute fitted shirts! My sister is looking into a reduction after she has kids too. It isn’t even a vanity issue – it’s a health issue. Big boobs are had on your back, shoulders, neck etc.
How about you give Heather and I some of your "excess"??????
Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry! I can totally relate, well, to the extreme tenderness, not the size by any means. 😉 I’m with Dodo…sucked dry and smaller than ever. Sorry, TMI. But I’m all in support of the reduction after you’re done with them idea. I think you’d have so much less back/shoulder, etc. pain, and shirts would fit much more easily! Must be hard to get them to fit right with those knockers! 😉 Can’t say I’m not a tad jealous though, never having experienced such voluptuousness. Even WITH your reduction, you’ll be larger than I’ve ever been except for the two months when my milk was really in. So don’t be too hard on them ok? 🙂
i like the preggers idea 🙂
Um Carrie, EXTREME ABNORMAL breast pain was my sign… sign of pregnancy. It started a few days before I expected my period and lasted a few weeks. I even wore a bra to bed (and I’m tiny – A on a good day!) Carrie, do your girls normally hurt that bad or is this a bit odd….
FYI – I found the dollor store test the BEST! Yes, he Dollar Tree sells pregnancy tests! They gave me a positive 3-4 days BEFORE I expected my period.
Maybe you’re preg!
as if saying you’re writing about breasts will make people STOP reading! HA!
Hey, if you’re lucky, after kids and breastfeeding, you won’t NEED any reduction help. My kids sucked me dry. (apologies to B&P)