Me: ok, so this little worker bee over here keeps talking to himself. and just now he said “see what daddy can do now!”
Me: i swear to god.
Her: that is really weird
Her: daddy?
Me: ummm, yeah.
Me: should I be scared?
Me: cause I kinda am.
Her: i would be, he refers to himself as daddy?
Me: unless the screw, or worse yet-the drill, is the daddy
Her: ok, you just made me snort
“So do you have to wear a nun outfit and everything?”
“But seriously, Asians totally annoy me.”
“I will not wear a mashed potato mustache unless he does too.”
“Yeah, I’m a recovering Catholic.”
“I cannot believe someone actually stole your mom’s dog!”
“You are only saying that to impress me. And it’s totally working.”
“Please wipe the drool off the dog’s nose. I hate it when they glisten like that.”
“You mean I actually get to take home TWO containers of leftovers?”
“So do you call a group of nuns a ‘flock’?”
“Are you kidding me?! You couldn’t figure out ’30 + 2′ today.” “It’s true. I couldn’t.”
“How can you be ‘bad’ at stuffing envelopes?”
“I confess. When us women get together, we strip down to our undies and tickle each other with feathers.” “And bubbles. Don’t forget the bubbles.”
“I will never be able to remember that it is called a ‘trivet’ but ‘tit-a-lit” that I can remember!”