Over the past weekend my niece, who also happens to be my god-daughter, celebrated her First Communion. So the family all got together to celebrate Emily’s accomplishments and this next milestone in her life.

Last night just after 12:30pm, a good two hours after I had fallen asleep, I was awaken by the ringing of my cell phone. Now I am not sure about you guys, but when my phone rings in the middle of the night, my brain instantly thinks EMERGENCY. Simeon jumped out of bed and ran downstairs to where our cell phones are plugged in, just in time for the caller to hang up. Simeon said it was Darcie, my little sister. He instinctually tried to call her back and didn’t get through. So we waited several minutes to see if she was leaving me a voicemail and then tried to call her again. Still no answer. I am now wide awake and envisioning my sister seriously injured, trying to get help and in calling me, failed to contact anyone. My heart started pounding, my mind was racing. Do I call my mom, who at least lives in the same town as my sister, to drive over and check on her? Do I call 911? Do I just sit and wait to see if my phone will ring again?

I finally decided to lay back down in bed, but set my cell phone on my nightstand in case she called back. Minutes later my phone lit up and rang again. I sat straight up in bed and answered the phone:

“Hello?!?”
Silence.

“Darcie? Are you there?”

Through the static I could barely make out: “Carrie?”
My sister sounded like she had been crying.

“Darcie are you ok?”

She sniffed. She had obviously been crying. “I’m ok. I just wanted to tell you….” Her phone cut out and all I could hear was the word “DIED.”

“What did you say? Your phone keeps cutting out. Who died?!?”

I made out something that sounded like “John.”

“John? Who is John?”
My brain was frantically thinking of every John I know and I was coming up with nothing.

“No. GERON. He died.”

Geron. I hadn’t heard that name in at least six years. My mind flashed over hundreds of memories from middle school and high school. Geron was a guy I dated. My friend Leslie and I went back and forth over which one of us liked him more. There were many a lunch hour spent in the bathroom crying over Geron.

“Geron died? Where are you? Stop moving your phone keeps cutting out!”

“I’m in Seaside. I’m at a bar and I’m NOT moving.”

“So are you ok? What happened?”

“I don’t know. Some people here just told me and I thought I should call you. Something about the bridge.”
“The bridge? Which bridge?”

I started picturing all the bridges in Seaside. But this didn’t make any sense. All the bridges in Seaside are tiny and I couldn’t imagine how a bridge would kill anyone.

“In Astoria. I don’t know. They think he killed himself.”

The words rang out in my ears. I heard her talking but I couldn’t make sense of it anymore. Why would anyone that I know kill themself? We are 24 FUCKING years old. What could possibly have happened that was so terrible that someone would want to kill themselves?

“I’m sorry Care. I don’t know anything more. All I know is he is dead.”

“Ok. Thanks for calling. Let me know if you find out anything more.”

The line went quiet. The call was lost. I looked over at the clock and it was almost 1am. How the hell was I suppose to fall asleep after that? I told Simeon what Darcie has just told me and he laid down to go back to sleep. I stared at the clock. Moments later I could hear Simeon sleeping. My brain started sorting through all the people in my class who have died. For as young as I am, the handful I could think of are far too many. At this point, I don’t know how I feel about things. I am angry, confused, sad, and mostly just stunned.

Happy fucking Monday everyone.

This is an actual comment I read on a site in response to a comment posted by “Blackninja.” I thought it was hilarious and I wanted to share:

“Blackninja should not be so intolerant, seeing as he is both black and (more importantly) a ninja. How’d you like it if some dude walked up to you and started saying, ‘Ooh, you ninjas with your frickin’ throwing stars, get a life! Real men fight in the open! Go back to feudal Japan, you sword-swinging jackass!'”

While driving to work this morning

Carrie: *giggles* Ohmigod.

Simeon: What?

C: I pulled up to the light and almost gave the car some gas to help it idle.

S: *laughs* Did you really?

C: Yes. I am such a dork.

S: Well you don’t have to worry about that anymore!! *gives high five*

As promised, I added more pictures to the Freestyle photo gallery.

Ohmigod. Guess what we did today? We went and bought a Ford Freestyle!! More specifically, a 2005 Ford Freestyle Limited Edition. We totally weren’t planning to get a new car for a little while, but my old ’95 Ford Escort has been slowly dying and we just weren’t looking to keep pouring money into it. So we went out looking this weekend and took one for a testdrive. We were totally sold. But we decided we wanted to do a little research and see what kind of features we wanted, to get the perfect car. Sim jumped on-line, played with the “Build and Price Your Ford” to see what options we need as opposed to want, read through lots of user reviews, and then located the dealership near us that had a model closest to what we wanted. And wouldn’t you know we found one that was perfect for us!

It’s hard to tell from this picture, but she is beautiful. I promise to take some better pictures tomorrow in the daylight. Since this is supposed to be my “Grown Up Car” we wanted to make sure we got all the bells and whistles we could afford. Just to name a few, it has dual climate control, heated seats, 6 CD MP3 player, All-Wheel drive, leather seats, stadium seating for seven, remote keyless entry (it even has one of those keypads so you can get in with a code rather than a key!), reverse sensing system, power moonroof and most importantly, the complete safety package.

If you want to see all the pictures, you can go to Freestyle photo gallery.

I don’t know why it is, but (most) things are better when children are involved. It may have something to do with their innocent perspective or blunt responses, but if a kid is around you can count on things being interesting.

Fingerprints, for example. Being who I am, I see fingerprints and I instantly want to clean. To scrub. To disinfect. But today in my office I wanted to preserve these fingerprints forever. Why, you ask? These particular fingerprints were near the candy bowl on the counter by our receptionist. And they were in caramel. This adorable little boy had eaten some left-over Easter candy and gotten caramel all over hands and you could see every little surface his tiny fingers had touched. It was precious. That moment perfectly preserved in caramel.

Then just a few moments ago I was walking past the three elevators in our building. A mother, a father, and their daughter were each waiting in front of different elevators, waiting to see whose door would open first. And when the doors opened in front of the little girl her eyes lit up and she squealed with delight. I know I have never been that excited to see an elevator. It truly takes a child to see things in a new light.

In most of the blogs I read these days, the topic has totally moved towards children. Whether its Dooce talking about Leta pressing her nose against her mother’s cheek, or Heather sharing how Lindsay entertains herself, or Chelle admiring Jacob’s lovely smile, or Peggy having a conversation with Nikolai. It just gets me thinking about taking that next step in my life and getting to be a Mommy. Don’t get too excited ladies; I am sticking to my schedule. But July is just around the corner….