Dear Ana,
Last week you turned three. THREE. I don’t even know how it happened. I know it’s a total cliché, but it seems like you were just born yesterday. Yet it’s almost impossible to remember life without you in it. But why would I want to? Ever since you were born my life has had meaning and purpose. Before I was just going through the motions and now I get to be ANA’S MOM. I could not be more proud to carry that title.

Now that you are a three year old, we have noticed several little “disturbances” in your otherwise mellow personality. Now every little thing that happens is either the BEST thing that has ever happened to you [insert high-pitched squeal here] or it is the equivalent of having one of your limbs removed. With dull scissors. Basically you are an emotional roller coaster of unpredictability. This is nothing new to you, however, as you are constantly telling us about your current emotional state wearing your mood rings. You are always saying overly dramatic things like, “you hurt my feelings! That breaks my heart!” or “when Daddy talks to me I burst into tears!”

Yet, you can be the sweetest thing ever. You have so much love in your heart that you can’t bear to keep it to yourself. You are always whispering, “I have a new secret…I love you forever and ever and always.” Or shouting, “I love you!” to all of our friends and family. You are filled with compassion and honest sincerity that is so refreshing in someone your age. When you apologize, you say things like, “I’m sorry I was bad earlier. I’m sorry we were having a fight.” Or, “I’m sorry for being mean. Can we be friends again?”

Something that isn’t new, or shocking in the least, is that you are still totally obsessed with babies. There isn’t a day that goes by when you don’t ask me if you can have a baby sister or brother. It breaks my heart to see how hopeful you get when we are talking with one of our numerous pregnant friends and you overhear us discussing babies. You ask, “Mama, are you gonna have a baby now?” Then I say, “No, sweetie. She is going to have a baby.” You always reply, “But Mama, I want you to have a baby in your belly.” I know, Ana. Me too.

Babies have been quite the topic around here lately and, naturally, you are getting caught up in it as well. You are insistent that I am going to have a baby SOON. Scratch that, you think I am going to have BABIES. Plural. You keep talking about how I am going to have a boy AND a girl. Then you are quick to explain to me “that means twins, Mama.” I am convinced that you got this idea from Dora, because when she became a big sister her Mami had twins. Yep, you guessed it: a boy and a girl. So I think it’s entertaining and cute. Your Daddy, on the other hand, is terrified.

I didn’t think it was possible, but in the last month you have gotten even more girly. You are always putting on lip gloss in the vanity mirror, pretending to do your make-up or donning some fancy dress-up outfit. Your room is filled with princesses and fairies, crowns and tiaras (you informed me those are, in fact, different), necklaces and bracelets, and every little thing a tiny princess requires in her royal chambers.

We have a battle every morning about what you are going to wear that day and it always starts with you saying, “I want to wear a dress…with no sleeves, no pants, no socks and no shoes.” And since it is practically winter (last week we had temperature in the TEENS! It was BELOW freezing!) I am forced to remind you that you must wear some type of clothing covering every part of your body. I am partial to letting you pick out your dress and then having you add leggings/pants/tights and a sweater/jacket. But even this can become a battle of the wills. In fact, this morning you cried for five minutes because I made you wear leggings under your dress. Your reason why you shouldn’t have to wear pants? Because, and I quote, “Taylor Swift doesn’t wear pants!!”

Last weekend we had your big birthday party. We had it at Westside Dance and Gymnastics Academy. It was a great party and you got to spend the entire time bouncing around, surrounded by all your best friends and family. It was the ultimate day for you, which was exactly the point. To make the day more special, I let you help me pick out all the decorations and your cake. Naturally, you picked the Disney Princess decorations and requested that I make you a Belle (from Beauty and the Beast) cake. After scouring the Internet for inspiration, and the baking and party stores for supplies, with your Father’s help, I made your dream a reality. All the hard work paid off when I saw the look of awe and wonder in your eyes. For that moment, I was Supermom and I could make all your dreams come true. I promise, as long as you keep looking at me like that, I will do my best to never let you down.

Oh my sweet little princess. What else is there to say? There are only so many ways I can tell you that you are amazing. Intelligent. Wonderful. Beautiful. You never fail to make me smile. Like when I walk into a room to discover a huge mess and when I ask you about it, you say, “I think my brother did it.” I can’t be mad at you, but instead I laugh out loud at your creativity and then we work together to clean up the disaster. Thank you for always giving me good-night kisses, for whispering “I love you, Mama” in my ear, for wrapping your arms around my neck in a hug that never fails to takes my breath away. Thank you for helping me look forward to each day, for causing me to get out of bed every morning with a smile, for making me laugh until I cry. Thank you for making the last three years the best years of my life. I love you, Ana.

All my love,
Mama

Dear Ana,
Today you turn thirty-five months old. Before I go any further I need to apologize for missing the “Thirty-four Month Letter” but October was just one crazy month. You happen to turn thirty-four months while we were in Disneyland (more about that in a minute) and I swore I would just write it once we returned home. Then when we got back I was catching up with all the things that happened while we were gone and time just slipped away from me. I’m sorry to miss your letter, but the fact that I have continued to write these monthly letters for as long as I have is pretty impressive, so I am forgiving myself…just this once. I hope you understand. If not, well, I took you to Disneyland, so consider yourself one lucky little girl regardless.




Now before we catch up to October, there were a few important things that happened in September. The first was that you were a flower girl in your Uncle Jesse and Aunt Nicole’s wedding. They asked you to be their flower girl months prior and leading up to the big day the only thing you would talk about was weddings. Anytime we left the house you asked if you needed to wear your fancy “flower dress.” When you played dress up, you were always the bride. So I knew you would happily handle your responsibilities when the time came. And sure enough, you were amazing. You posed for pictures, handled yourself like a little princess, and even gracefully flicked flower petals as you walked down the aisle. Everyone was so impressed with your attitude and I was approached several times by wedding guests commenting on how well-behaved you were during the ceremony. All I could do was look at you in wonder and say, “I know. She’s amazing.”

Near the end of September we also started up our parks and rec classes again. You are once again back in the Toddler and Me swimming class. I didn’t sign you up for swimming over the summer, partly because we were so busy already, but also because I figured we would be spending so much time playing in the water anyway, it just wasn’t necessary. But I thought you needed a little refresher because by the time the next session starts, you will be three years old and able to take the class ALL BY YOURSELF. Isn’t that exciting? Of course it is. And do you know how I know? Because you are already in a THREE’S class. Your ballet instructor, Teacher Katie, gave you (along with your BFF Lauren) special permission to move up to the Three’s Tip Toes class because you were doing so well! I could not be more proud of you and there isn’t a single day where you have made us regret the decision. You were really ready to be in a class with no parents. While I love that you are independent and confident enough to attend classes without me, it saddens me that there are certain things in your life that you don’t need me for already. Not only that, but it is such a strange feeling for you to learn something that I didn’t teach you (or something that I myself don’t know). But I love seeing the happiness and sense of accomplishment that it brings you.


And that brings us to our Disneyland vacation. Your daddy was speaking at a conference in LA and the timing just worked out perfectly for you and I to fly down to Anaheim at the end of the conference and have ourselves a little vacation in Disneyland. We knew there were going to be some restrictions because of how young you were, but to be honest I think it was nice. All the rides with the really long lines/wait weren’t rides we could even go on with you. Things were short and sweet…just like you. We had a little bit of a plan going in, but mostly just went with the flow and did whatever you wanted to do. Your only request when it came to rides was that we go on “It’s a Small World” each day. But we were more than happy to do so because the ride allowed us to sit down in a nice air-conditioned room for a much needed break! It was great to not have any pressure or expectations, because you didn’t have any. You had no idea what was going to happen, so everything was a bonus. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. The only thing that you specifically requested was princesses. And we were more than happy to find them for you every chance we could. To make it easier, we booked a Princess Breakfast at Ariel’s Grotto. We knew this would guarantee you FIVE princesses. Plus, we were able to sit at our table enjoying our meal and THEY came to us. No waiting in line. No fighting with other children. It was prefect.




The only princess we didn’t see at Ariel’s Grotto that you really had your heart set on meeting was Belle. This is where it came in handy to have someone on the inside. My Uncle Don, your Great-Uncle, works at Disneyland and really came through for us. Having seen you prior to our breakfast, dresses head to toe in your Belle costume, he knew how much you loved her. He ran into Belle and sent me a text picture on my iPhone with the caption, “Look who I found!” Upon discovering that she was on her way to Ariel’s just after we left, he sent me another text which read, “She wants to meet you. Go back to Ariel’s around noon. Ask for Rick.” So we did as we were told and when we arrived, discovered that he arranged for you to have a private meeting with your very favorite princess. You and Belle got to chat and she even danced around the room with you. It was the most amazing moment and you were the happiest little girl at the Happiest Place on Earth.

Another one of your favorite things in Disneyland was the face painting. The first day you and I were there alone, you woke up from your (rather short) nap in a bad mood. Trying to think of things to cheer you up, I took you to the face painting booth right next to Pixie Hollow. You were so excited to “wear make-up” that you instantly forgot that you were cranky. It was such a simple thing, yet it made you so happy that we took you back for a different design–all of your own choosing–each day we were at the Park.




That brings us to October, the grand kick-off of fall. Anyone who knows me, knows this is my favorite time of year. I love everything about it. The weather, the smell, the decorations, the food, the pumpkins… My list could go on and on. Since I embrace all these things so wholeheartedly, and you really don’t know it any other way, you do as well. One of our favorite traditions is a trip to the pumpkin patch. To really drag it out for all we could, we actually went on three different occasions. (Granted, only two pumpkin patches, but still.)




And then there is Halloween! Luckily we had several parties to attend, so we were able to wear a variety of costumes! You were able to get all girly as a fairy, get fancy as a princess, and still be my adorable little toddler as a silly monkey. We had a great time dressing up with you (when the occasion allowed) and you worked up intricate back-stories and plots to our elaborate game of make-believe. You also went trick-or-treating this year, and after a couple houses really started to get into it. I wasn’t sure how long you would last, but you kept saying, “Just one more house!” until your little banana treat bag was full! We had a great time and, for once, the weather actually held out and make for a truly enjoyable evening.




You have an imagination that rivals most children twice your age. You love pretend, make-believe, and role playing. Your Daddy has discovered he can get you through the entire bedtime process without a single tear if he is King Triton and you are Ariel. All he has to say is, “Ariel, it’s time to get out of the bathtub.” and you reply, “yes, King Triton!” and stand up without any hesitation. When you wake up in the morning you call out, “Beast! I woke up!” and your Daddy says, “I’m coming Belle!”


Lately you have stepped up your pretend play. Instead of simply becoming whichever princess you happen to be at the moment, you have taken to involving yourself in the role play as well. For example, you will be walking around in your Cinderella dress and suddenly stop, pose for a picture that’s not being taken, and say “Ana, do you want to take a picture with me? Smile at the camera!” Or the other night I was tucking you into bed while you were wearing your Belle nightgown and you said, “Is it ok if I sleep in Ana’s bed tonight?” Seeing my stunned expression, you quickly added in a stage whisper, “I’m Belle.” Catching on, I said, “Sure, Belle, you can sleep in Ana’s bed.” You looked skeptical and said, “I think you should ask her. ” So I called into the hallway, “Ana? Can Belle sleep in your bed tonight? She can? Oh thank you!” Satisfied with being given permission, you were finally ready to settle down and go to sleep.


I’m seeing more of your personality emerge every day. You are sweet; pausing your play to come over and tell me, “Mama? I love you.” You are hilarious and provide instant comedic relief; your new favorite expression is, “How’s the bacon shakin’?” You are sassy; when I tell you that you are making me angry you promptly retort, “You’re making me angry too…and you’re ruining my day!” But just as quickly you are able to turn it all around; when you see my jaw tighten and you can practically see me begging for patience, you will politely ask, “Mama? Do you have your happy face on?” to which it is almost impossible for me not to smile and say, “Yes, Ana. I do now.”

I know I say this all the time, but I just love my life with you in it. I think back to before you were born and life just didn’t seem to have a purpose. Things I thought were pretty before now sparkle and shimmer as I see them through your eyes. You are my reason for everything I do, my motivation to live life to the fullest, my conscience when I’m about to make a bad decision. You are my everything, and so very much more.

All my love,
Mama